ALPHAS

I saw a person at a place recently wearing a shirt that said “Alpha Male.” I’m sure he’s a lovely human, so it’s with zero judgement that my mind screamed back “Alphas don’t advertise that they’re alphas!! They just don’t!” Don’t worry, this isn’t about me bashing attempted alpha males, it’s about bashing attempted alphas regardless of gender.

Alpha status is as old as time. I’m guessing there was a brave, strong cave person (Grog) whose acts of power benefited others. In turn, that probably afforded Grog more privileges. Maybe he got first choice of which cave person to club over the head for special cave person time. Or maybe he got extra servings of saber-tooth squirrel salad. I’m sure that it resulted in Torg looking at Grog with envy. Torg too wants extra paleo pot roast. But,…“Torg no alpha.” (imagine sad caveman face)

Since challenges to hierarchies continue today, it’s completely reasonable to assume that Torg challenged Grog. They may have had a spear chucking contest, wooly mammoth wrestling display, or perhaps a dance off. And maybe at some point Torg attained his caveman dreams of alpha.

I’m sure that over time, the reasons creating alpha status, and the activities to establish pecking order have changed. But deep in our lizard brains, it would seem that we are still hard wired for herd life. In isolation we fail. We need each other. And we need alphas. They come in many forms. Alpha Grog’s freshly harvested saber toothed jack rabbits would be useless without the fire guy or the cooking person. And quite possibly, they are alphas in their own right.

Some people seem to feel a need to continue to buck for alpha status. Maybe that’s good, I don’t know. Maybe is the challenges to hierarchies that continue to push whatever system is in question to another level. But two important things 1) it’s okay not to be an alpha and 2) I don’t think real alphas try. I think it just happens. Alphas don’t get pegged with the title because they set out for it.

Maybe you’re reading this wondering if it’s your time to challenge the hierarchy with your own dance-off. Maybe it is. Maybe the system will be better off before. Just please make an informed choice ahead of time because (stolen internet quote of the week…) “everybody wants to be an alpha, until it’s time to do alpha shit.”

Thanks for reading!