I Like My Hamster Wheel

My eyes pop open. My brain lights up. Thinking about a million things. As the designated person who sleeps on the passenger side of the bed in my marriage, I can’t reach the phone or watch to see the time. I make the choice to be “that guy” I wait for the slightest rustle from Brian before quietly, but not so quietly asking “what time is it?” He laughs, “It’s CrossFit time.”

That’s right. Not a chance of a workout in sight, but still my subconscious self was like “Get up. Time to go to the gym. Or the other gym. Or the other other gym.”

Unstructured time is my enemy. I wish it weren’t so. I’m hopeful that at some point I’ll be able to chill with effectiveness. I imagine my enemy like a fierce looming monster who politely says “No worries, I’ll come back another time” as soon as I use my special powers in defense. I food prep for the day, my nemesis cowers. I do the laundry, he runs in fear. “Take that!” I proverbially declare as I go to the post office and get the bills which I pay and then input my chart.

So many times the only differences between a characteristic that’s a strength or one that’s a weakness is the degree to which, or the situations in which we use them. Having unstructured time as an enemy is the thing that makes it so I can cram so much in to my days. But,…it’s also a thing that makes me a challenge to live with. 

For instance, a low quiet voice just came from the dark in the hotel room, “Crystal. Do you really have to type so much right now?” I’ll stop. Dirty has a busy couple days ahead. A full day of orientation, then dropping off in Fresno so he can compete in an FFA contest, then drive back to town and rest up so he can take care of his steer and get in a couple workouts. He’s just like his father. (Bwah ha!}