There was an exercise I’d done somewhere along the college experience that involved identifying my values. Even though my brain was fully cooked, I was totally fucking stumped.
I guess values are weird like that, they’re so much a part of the fabric that makes us, that we may not even know they’re there.
It’s frankly embarrassing to think that I had no clue how to label what was important to me. I couldn’t put a name to the undergirding principles that subconsciously drove my decisions. This was roughly a million years ago, so there was no cool value cards game or buzzfeed quiz to help me out. I just had to think about it. Think. Bleh!
In the absence of easy hacks, there’s still probably better ways for me to have figured this out than the way I did. Maybe I could’ve; I dunno, journaled, asked my parents what values they intended on instilling, ask my peers what they see as things that were important to me. I didn’t do those things.
Instead, I thought about the things that really irritate me, and considered that the opposite must be the thing I value. For example,…
(Contemplating…should I be honest here? I mean, I’m still fake reeling from the response to the most recent polarizing statement I made.
Who knew that there was so much passion about my youthful indiscretion of never having seen Roadhouse?!
Hmmm…In the words I’ve stole from someone who stole them from someone else, “We’ll do it live. Fuck it!”)
*sigh
I am irritated by laziness.
Please do not confuse laziness with an inability to do things, unwillingness to do things, or a drive to do things other than what I would do. I can live with it laziness, work around it, and even enjoy it on my own. But it can also make my blood boil. Like, make me seethe. Laziness has the power to render me speechless.
So the takeaway is, hard work is important to me. Work ethic is one my values. Instilled in me on purpose by my parents, and reinforced over the years by the people around me.
There’s other examples of how the opposite of my irritations turned out to be my values, but I’ll spare you those. (As it turns out,…pointless rambling irritates me; therefore efficiency is a value of mine. See? It just keeps working!)
Maybe everyone else has their values firmly figured out. They may have framed needlepoint wall hangings that display their values prominently for all to see. But if you don’t, you may see the value (ha!) in some self exploration on the subject. Labeling those thoughts can be incredibly helpful. There will be discord in your days that may be about nothing more than a difference between the values of two parties.
So in that vein, I must consider the following; the installation of a zipper on lace up boots is not an assault on my value that “harder things are better things.” My statement that it makes the boots “reek of weakness” may have been unnecessary. Perhaps the manufacturer just has a different values in mind.
Values can, and should, adapt over time. What’s important to you should change as you grow. If you haven’t, take a minute to think about yours. Maybe think about a bump you’ve had and see if there’s an identifiable value difference that caused it. Maybe go buy some boots. (Useless laces!)
I also place value on words and people’s time; so thank you for giving time to my words 🙂
Bifocals and Barbells 