Categories
Social Worky

Machine Washable Gladiators

Believe it or not, there was a time when I didn’t work for public non-profit child welfare.

I had a starter career in the bank. I liked it. Especially when I got to do extra cool things like fly on the company plane to exotic places like Cresent City to train people. But it didn’t seem like it was the kind of job to spark my soul. I got serious about the college thing, found psychology classes to be captivating, and yada yada yada was working near child welfare, but not quite in it.

As a foster family agency social worker, I would have infrequent need to unearth some court clothes and go to hearings with children, parents, and foster parents. I remember very clearly when THE social workers would arrive. The ones from the County who had direct involvement in whatever matter was at hand. I know it will sound cheesy and fake, but they seemed so cool to me. They’d walk up the stairs in a group typically and it wasn’t a far stretch to for my imagination to see a theatrical slo-mo walk accompanied by music that indicates they’re bad. Ass!

I wanted to be a part of it. The difference between private and public child welfare is that the worker is more directly involved in cases. They are the ones who report recommendations directly to the court. In child welfare social work, if the court becomes involved, every major decision is made by the court based on the social worker’s reports of the work by parents. It’s important to remember that it IS the parents who do the incredibly hard work required of participation. They will succeed because of themselves. But the worker also works very hard. They cheerlead, have difficult talks, direct towards things that can help, hold accountability, and have a level of responsibility that is intense. It sounds straightforward enough, but it’s actually quite complex.

It’s by design that that our system has people in everyone’s corner. This is intended to give balanced information by which incredibly important decisions are to be made. Differing perspectives lead to conflicting ideas about what the right thing to do with a family may be. And it’s in those times of conflicting ideas that social worker determination is tested hardest.

I’ve worked with a lot of workers in my time, and every single one has taken on the task because they genuinely want to help kids and families. They may have varying approaches for how that happens, but it is their purpose.

So, when you take someone who really believes they’re making the best recommendations and enter them into a gauntlet of criticism, it can take a toll on a social worker. Common are the moments for social workers in which no matter what steps they take, they know someone will be outraged.

Add to this the unending stack of demands from all angles, feelings, and seemingly unreasonable expectations and it can become a stew only the strong can stomach.

And they do.

Each social worker can without a moment’s hesitation recall stories of things that went so well they can give you goosebumps. I don’t know if for all of the workers if it’s those moments that get them through times that seem unreasonable, but I know those stories are what keeps me going.

Baby social worker me was very confused about the amount of influence those action hero county workers had. I imagine every social worker goes through a developmental milestone of their own when that realization hits. Nevertheless, they persist because it’s what they believe in.

I wish our system didn’t need to exist. But it does for good reason. And when I can think about any number of incredible things that happen every day, I’m more than inspired to continue. I’m fiercely dedicated it in a way that’s probably considered a pathological loyalty. And to the rest of the machine washable gladiators that also signed on to do the same honorable work, thank you! If you have an idea for what the slo-mo walk up song to department 11 should be, let me know.

Thanks for reading!

Categories
Personal Growth (or not) Social Worky

I Don’t Know

Be brave enough to say “I don’t know.”

This is a note that I found in my phone today. It located in between a quote from the Nice Guys movie that made me laugh and a shopping list. I have no idea what compelled me to make it as a note. It’s my survival skill, the cornerstone upon which I base my entire existence. It’s not like I need to look at my phone to remind myself to say “I have no idea what’s going on,” but there is was nonetheless.

I just think it’s funny that I landed on it again today.

Tuesday starts a new role for me at work. A million years ago, when I promoted from a social worker to a supervisor, a sage woman with the wildest gray hair possible told me that she had never said “I don’t know” more in her entire life than she had in her first six months as a supervisor.

Clearly I thought this wouldn’t apply to me. I knew my job well, and I was eager to take on more. Even more clearly though, I was wrong.

Supervising is not the same as doing the job. Someone can be excellent at what they do, but that’s not an automatic translation to coaching. Doubt? Think of your favorite elite football (or other sport ball team) athletes. Look at their coaches. See that huge disparity in the two? One’s built like a marble statue and can move like apex predator. The other has a clipboard and quite possibly a beer gut. Proof positive that coaching and doing are two different skill sets.

As I was growing up as a baby supervisor, I was very thankful that I’d been given the tip that it’s okay not to know everything. It freed me from feeling compelled to try to misrepresent myself or to feel a need to hide inadequacies. Despite the deceptive name, imposter syndrome is real.

People (myself included) can do some seriously funky things when they are trying to characterize themselves as something like perfect.  We can become defensive, shift blame, or other forms of deflection. We can even become passive aggressive. I’m not passive aggressive, unlike some people I know. Or we can become condescending. Condescending means talking down to someone (These are memes….not personal statements. And they’re hilarious memes, at that).

I don’t want to do those things. I want to keep focused on the values that cause us all to be passionate about the work and celebrate successes. I also need to be aware of areas in which I have room for growth. “Everybody gets a trophy” doesn’t do too well for encouraging people to continue to live to their potential.

You may not be in the same spot as me, gearing up for your job change and avoiding gigantic office spiders. Even so, there’s still value in everyone knowing that you don’t have to “know it all.” I’m grateful for those who can be still in their humility and live as an example for others. Those who embody the quote; ““Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” (C.S..Lewis, probably). We are lucky to have you. I’m also thankful in advance for the grace from everyone when I say “I don’t know” a whole lot here soon. Please know I’m not trying to be difficult. I’m just being brave (bwah ha!)

Thanks for reading!

Categories
Blogolicious

The Importance of Morale

We’re in a bit of a funk at my Agency right now. Like every sector of the world of employment, people are leaving. Word is, pandemics (and probably stimmy checks) are giving folks an opportunity to take a pause and re-evaluate their lives. This makes it tough for those who stay behind. There’s a fair amount of training required in my job. As there should be. We are involved in some big stuff in people’s lives. We owe it to the families we serve to properly train the workers. And, this leads to a lag between when someone’s hired and when they are given full responsibility thus giving some breathing room to the workers who’ve been picking up the slack.

Short staffing and pandemic circumstances have led to a lot of yuck. In March of 2020. We all buckled our seatbelts for a 3 week lock down that’s turned in to a year and a half of daily uncertainty and worry. There’s been division and fear, and the hits just keep coming. The fatigue of managing feelings about it all has led to a decrease in ability/willingness to tolerate adversity. We may have handled something different in 2019 than we do today if no other reason than we’re just tired.

As a result, a phrase that I’m hearing a lot lately is that “morale is bad.”

We are lucky to work with people who’s hearts are in it for the work they do and they people they do it with. When shit gets real, you can count on people to rally without hesitation to each other’s aid or to meet the needs of the community. Without exception. It’s a thing of beauty to see.

But when were struggling, it can be easy to lose sight of this very important truth; morale is everyone’s responsibility

Morale isn’t something that any leadership can dial up on their own. Obviously when there’s concrete changes that are within their power to address, they should. If, for example, supervisors were releasing a swarm of bees into the office every day at 2 pm because they like the sound of it, that’s a thing they should stop doing. But if the expectation is that they change the suck of the world, that just ain’t gonna happen.

Ironically, I’m sounding like I’m complaining as I say we shouldn’t complain. I’m not trying to. Folks are all keenly aware of the steps people take consistently to lift up each other. Whether it’s motorcycle balloons, ordering matching shirts, baked goods, kick ass magnets, group gifts, or just being someone’s second on an investigation; that amazingness matters.

However, what’s also noticed is when people complain about morale. The very action contributes to the toxicity. Over complaining about morale is essentially as effective as complaining about sand in your eye as you are rubbing more sand in your eye. It’s counter productive to the goal at hand. Maybe it’s out there and I just didn’t look hard enough, but I did a brief research review and wasn’t able to find any thing that says grumbling improves mood.

This is easy to misinterpret, so I want to be crystal clear about a few things:

  • If you have ideas for solutions, absolutely share them. Time after time, the best solutions come from folks actually doing the thing
  • Keep doing all the amazing stuff to support your peers. Rather consistently, it’s our peers that keep us motivated and fueled to do incredible things

And finally,…

  • This blog is the personal opinion of one worker. If it’s struck a nerve, that’s my responsibility alone.  (ugh….I’m starting to think I’ll never learn when to keep my mouth closed)

We can’t control the status of the world, but we can control how we react to it. If I had a wish; it would be that when that urge to point out how shitty things are hits, take a moment of pause. Do you have an idea for a solution? Share it, please! Trust me, it is needed. And then ask yourself will complaining make you feel better? Or does it run the risk of shoving more sand in your eye?

Thanks for reading, and remember; this is just one person’s observations and opinions.