Well, technically he did on account of the whole “he’s a vampire thing” but in my opinion the movie did not suck. And with that I give you the review of Nosferatu that nobody asked me for.
Vampires are cool and whatnot, but they’re really not my jam. Perhaps the blame goes to Twilight which I only read so I could have some understanding of what my work kids were so obsessed about.
But, celebrating the holidays with a horror film seemed like a good idea. When it wrapped up I declared to Brian (and anyone else within ear shot), “That was badass!” at roughly the exact same time Brian was saying, “That was lame.”
I read another negative review of it and started to wonder if perhaps I was popcorn drunk when I watched it and maybe it wasn’t as good as I thought.
As fate had it, one of my vacation days was spent dropping my car off for car things. Since I’d completed a lot of my vacay to-do list, I decided to do a first for me: go to the theater to see a movie for a second time.
It wasn’t the popcorn. I still think the movie is badass.
It’s very broody and dark. The imagery is stunning. The costumes alone are worth the watch. It was like watching a haunted house. “Shadows” could be listed as a main character in the film and the imagination of the individual watching it is a critical force.
It could be that the need for the viewer’s imagination to participate is the very thing that causes the variance in opinions of the film. I was able to conjure up all sorts of blackness in the shadow sequences. Maybe others just saw Count Orlock’s mustache and thought of “Da Bears” skits on SNL. The only thing scary about those mustachioed characters was thoughts of their hardened arteries.
I thought about how wild it some of the first scary movies must have been for the audiences. Certainly ghost stories and horror existed before film, but to have that creepy shit acted out on a screen for the first times must have been horrifying.
The only thing I noted in my second watching that was off-putting was screechy violins. But since I can only assume this was intended to grate on your nerves it wasn’t a deal breaker to me. If I was watching it at home, I would likely turn it down in some of the dramatic background noise spots. I would absolutely mute it during the scenes of blood drinking. It was graphic enough to curdle my stomach at the just the recollection of it. But I’m pretty sure that’s the point of scary movies. (shivering as I think of it again)
The great thing about art is that it’s subjective. I loved this movie, and I know others hate it. Maybe what I liked about it aligns with my whole “goth is not a phase” foundations. But the truth of my existence now is I’m not a person who courts with death and darkness. I don’t even flirt with high cholesterol.
And maybe that’s the appeal.
I watched some analysis of the movie that talked about it’s individualist themes in contrast with the moral oppression of the Victorian era in which the film takes place.
The film has a high level of naughtiness to it. There’s a lot of addiction to flesh if you will. It’s really not a movie to watch with family. There’s a lot of writhing. Like, a LOT!
There’s also homage given to the themes of the Victorian era in which women who are not falling in line with societal expectations are considered mad, hysterical, wrought with melancholy etc.
Ellen was simultaneously pulled toward extreme sinfulness and repulsed by it. I get it. I mean, just the other day I tried to override an intrusive thought to add to a conversation “…that’s what she said.” I failed and that impulse reminded the room that I have the comedic maturity of a 14 year old. I’m pretty much an oppressed creature too (this is sarcasm).
So did I see myself as a mistress of darkness on my walk back from the theater to Big O to get my sensible car from it’s sensible maintenance? A goddess so powerful evil itself can not resist me despite the threat to it’s own demise? No. It was quite rainy and I was still in gym clothes because I watched a horror movie at 8:15 am. My only hope was that I was not misidentified as indigent. But for me that’s the beauty of well crafted movies. You get to immerse yourself in something other than real life. It’s with good reason no one makes movies about social workers on vacation getting their car needs taken care of.
Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think of the movie if you see it.
Bifocals and Barbells 