Child welfare is an interesting gig. Until about the 1900’s, there were far more rules protecting violence against animals than there were for the protection of human children. Child welfare in it’s modern sense came into being around the 1970’s when there was an increase in the role of government trying to ensure that children were safe in their own homes.
Since that time, nearly everyone has heard a story about a time that Child Welfare didn’t intervene enough. And nearly everyone has heard a story when we intervened too much.
It’s a very difficult balance that people who chose the field as their career take very seriously. Fortunately for the families we serve, they are entitled to privacy about the events that led to our intervention. However, this makes the work seem like we are transparent to those outside the field.
By the time the events take place in which children are removed from the care of their parents, things have happened. Things that those with the legal ability to remove children (cops and courts) have determined have made it so the children can not currently be safe in the care of their parents.
Whatever those things are, stacked up with the removal of kids, are a lot for families to endure.
Social workers constantly meet 6-year-olds who experienced more in their short lives than they themselves as adults have experienced. It can be hard, but the depth of the experiences our families have had also make them some of the strongest people ever.
Most often, things have just gotten a little out of hand for a minute, and they need an opportunity to reset. There’s tools in place for that. Tools that really do help. But in the meantime, kids need a place to rest their souls while parents work.
A great foster parent is one who will be there for those little ones in an unsettled time in their life, and be prepared to support them when it’s time to go home.
It’s a very big ask. Love them like they need, but don’t love them so much that you get in the way of them going home. And, if they can’t go home, go back to wanting to be their forever solution. Open your home to scrutiny, and your heart to potential breakage.
It doesn’t sound like a good sales pitch. But somewhere the night is putting a child into your care; a child who’s had a really bad day. And they need a foster parent who’s in it for the right reasons who can help them get through it.
The foster parents who are best at what they do are the ones who are able to balance the many many hard things with the rewards of knowing they helped a kid through some tough times or got to see kids go back to homes where they are loved and safe.
Unfortunately, there’s a constant need for folks who can fill the complex role of fostering. If it sounds like something you’d like to learn more about, or something you’ve heard someone else express interest in, please don’t hesitate to ask a social worker about it.
Bifocals and Barbells 