family – Bifocals and Barbells

Social Work Dreams

No. No, I don’t have time to write this morning. But since it is about social work and
“not enough time” is a something social workers are used to, it seemed like the right thing to do.

I had a social work dream last night. That’s new for me. There’s a few reasons it may have happened. I’m missing an important event today, our Social Work Appreciation Costco Pizza Extravaganza. I also had some work calls were my lullaby into sleepy time. Also yesterday included a conversation full of sage wisdom about desires to help and the limitations around it.

Since it was new for me, now y’all got to hear it.

I was in my backyard. A woman stranger was wandering in it. She was carrying a newborn baby. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was “losing her shit.”

The baby was hard to hold because it was so new and fragile.

The mom was detached and said “what am I supposed to do? Check myself into the hospital and detox?” I of course supported this decision and then thought about how to get her into detox immediately.

Then I was hit with the reality that I didn’t actually know how to do this. I was counting down to office opening time so I could check with our experts on drug addiction treatment. It felt like a very important window of opportunity was closing quickly.

At some point the mom wandered off. She said she’d be back so I continued to stare at the clock and consider alternatives. I also realized I didn’t know who she was so I looked in a backpack belonging to another child of hers to try to find a name. In doing so, I saw that “junior” carries a copy of custody orders in his backpack which made me long for a different normal for the family conjured by my subconscious. I made a note to find that child and check in with him.

The dream ended before I was able to help problem solve. But not before the baby also morphed back and forth from the dog from Deadpool (dreams are weird).

This situation is completely fabricated from my REM sleep but is also not unrealistic right down to the part where I feel like I let the family down.

Yesterday I was reminded that it’s really easy to “Monday morning quarterback” a lot of the things that happen in social work. All we can do is our best with the information we have at the time and learn from what happened. We also need to remember my very favorite principal in the Social Work Code of Ethics; client right to self-determination.

By nature, social workers are helpers and will continue to pour of themselves to be there for others. I’m very thankful to be a part of something like this and very proud of the people I’ve been lucky enough to work alongside. There’s no amount of pizza that can express that gratitude, but enjoy nonetheless. Sincere thanks for all that you give to help others.

Thanks for reading!

Steer Clear if Queasy

I contemplated buying a new bowl this weekend. A big one with a lid to take to parties full of whatever Pinterest recipe caught my attention.

If you’re thinking that people don’t contemplate bowl buying, let me point out that I’ve been officially using my current bowl for 30 (!!) years. It was a wedding gift. I’ve hung on the to the bowl so long that it may be headed back in fashion. Cranberry pyrex could be on the verge of a major comeback. If so, call me Spongebob because I’m ready. I’ve got the whole damn cranberry family.

Ultimately I chose against a new bowl right now. But it made me think of the a standby heirloom bowl for folks around my vintage that quantifies changing beliefs and makes me realize that “normal” is not a fixed or permanent idea.

The bowl; the giant yellow lidded Tupperware classic.

The way it defined normal in the 80’s; not only was it the bowl from which air-popped popcorn was enjoyed on Saturdays while watching Love Boat and Fantasy Island, it was also the puke bucket.

Before you panic that I’m disclosing a deep seeded family secret, I’ll have you know that I’ve conducted extensive research over the years and MANY families have the same story. I think it crossed my mind in part because this is a time of year when sicknesses abound. I’m very much not a fan of that level of sickness and would rather have anything that that. I certainly don’t need to be graphic about any of this to make my point.

Buuuut, when that bug hit, letting the family popcorn bowl do the dirty work was normal. It was as normal of an experience as it was to be sent to the neighbor’s house when they got chicken pox so you could get yours. Or as normal as having a principal literally hit kids with boards when they misbehaved. Us Evergreen kids all learned about President Regan being shot because the one kid was in the office being paddled when the news broke. Paddled! With a board with holes in it to make it more memorable.

As is always the case, societies evolve. Change is the only thing that can truly be counted on. It’s easy to look back on things like paddling and think “Noy doy that needed to stop.”

But what’s equally wild is that none of what we do will ever be perfect. Ever.

There are things that occur right now in modern times that future people will look back at completely astonished that they ever occurred. I don’t know what those things are, maybe “everyone gets a trophy” culture or maybe we’ll learn vegetables were bad for us all along. Who knows.

We just kind of all move along forward doing the next normal seeming thing hoping for the best. Everyone trying to make the best decisions they can with the information they have at the time and with each generation hoping that things are even better for the next.

At any rate, my search for being a better human as well as my search for a new bowl identity will continue. I can assure though that my next bowl won’t be one of the vintage yellow Tupperware bowls for sale online. I know they’ve seen more than potato salad.

Thanks for reading, and Tupperware, don’t hesitate to hit me up as a brand ambassador (bwah!)