I have a thing with Sasquatch.
It started largely because Brian would often be called Squath (or Biggun) by his less vertically blessed compatriots. It solidified when I was turned on to a book called Naked Came the Sasquatch. It’s a fictional tale from the 70’s that was just quirky enough to continue to deliciously live rent free in my head for years after I read it. I’ve rebought that used book no less than three times and no regrets for anything associated with it.
I don’t know what my first Squatch swag was. Maybe my Baby Gap sized t-shirt that says “Sasquatch! I know him!” I (inaccurately) determined this shirt was appropriate to pair with a short full skirt for a classy work outfit.
Perhaps that kind of “out loud” living of Squatch fandom is what led to my bursting collection of memorabilia of the creature. I’m genuinely spoiled by the Squatch keepsakes. I’m giddy every single time some gifts me with something. “What!? You were at a coffee shop in a far off place and you saw this sticker and thought of me?!”
My unintentional collection is very cool. I’ve got signs, shirts, giant plywood handcrafted cutouts (thanks mom and Mike who fixes everything!), stickers, coffee mugs, and more. I’ve also got a great art piece that to this day I don’t know who gifted it to me. It’s wearing a pink bikini and was a tribute to my first bodybuilding competition. Though I spent a great deal of time and even created a comprehensive evidence board to try to figure out where it came from. No dice. Further proof that I’m not cool enough to be a cop.
I absolutely love my collected works, but they come with a small price of awkwardness. Sometimes I can’t tell if people think I’m a believer is sasquatch.
Do I think he’s a really cool concept? Absolutely! But I also think Darth Vader is really cool and don’t believe that he exists.
Do I think that we know all the mysteries this planet holds? Absolutely not!
I know there are people who do believe lots of things that I don’t. It’s not my job to dispel their beliefs.
The world would be a boring and stagnant place if we all believed the exact same things. I mean, at some point Louis Pastuer “believed” that germs existed and that maybe we should drink clean water and wash our hands before performing surgeries and then yada yada yada, healthier people and whatnot.
I’m not saying that Squatch belief will lead to groundbreaking work in medical sciences, but I am saying that we need people to think about things in a way that’s not conventional.
The affinity for the creature on the stickers gives me something to do and think about. I’ve watched some shows about Squatch. Mostly I’m just fascinated by the people involved. They’re interesting to me whether they’ve perceived life altering experiences or if they just chose to make up tales. Mostly there’s a lot of bunk that’s presented. I hope to not shatter any dreams here guys, but uh Willow Creek 1967 footage….so….yeah….that’s NOT real.
But there are some legitimate sounding scientists in some of these shows. One guy said you can’t use the fact that no one has found a skeleton to say he does or doesn’t exist. He added that we don’t typically find bear skeletons and we know they exist. My mind was blown for a second.
My GAWD! He’s RIGHT!
But then I quickly remembered that I’m not an outdoorsman and simply can’t let that fact set my beliefs. How not outdoors am I? Yesterday while walking around a logging site and landing, all I saw was potential for rolled ankles. There weren’t any, but that didn’t stop me from imagining them. Also, I don’t even go in to the store for my own groceries. It’s not a helpful data point that I’ve neve encountered a bear skeleton.
Maybe someday my opinions on the existence of bigfoot will change, but for now he’s just a cool image for treasures that I don’t understand why I’m lucky enough to receive. Maybe he’s out there though, wondering if I exist or working on medical quantum leaps. Maybe he’s basking in the knowledge that people really believe in him and taunting unicorns. “Ha Ha fuckers! They know I’m real!” Who knows.
Until that time though, I’ll keep my eyes open for sqautch skeletons in the Wal Mart pick up lot and focus my energy in my other misguided beliefs.
Thanks for reading! Let me know if you or anyone you know has seen a bear skeleton or had something weird happen in the woods.
Bifocals and Barbells 