I’m old, and I try to pretend I’m not. My current workouts are great (thank you Troy and Arin). I never have any acute injury buuuuuut,…when you’re 51 and trying to keep up with (or trying to beat) 21 year olds, then go sit at a desk for too long; there’s bound to be some aches.
As a result, every so often me going from sitting to standing looks exactly like the evolutionary chart. Sometimes I get stuck in the position that is in the line right next to the monkey. It’s painful and embarrassing.
I thought I’d see if acupuncture could help. I’m a curious creature, and since the whole needles in humans thing has been a practice for over 3000 years, I figured it may be an adventure.
I purposefully didn’t look in to what to expect from the experience. For me, sometimes doing that will set up an expectation then instead of experiencing the event in a be still status, I’ll spend mental energy thinking about the things I read or heard and trying to compare those things to what I was encountering.
The place I went is Flow Community Acupuncture. Booking was incredibly easy to do on-line. The price is reasonable and is on a sliding fee schedule with no questions asked. The initial appointment is $50-$60 and follow ups are $25-$40.
In the fashion to which I am accustomed; I screamed in there later than I would have liked to have been. Not the right tone to start an internal calming process. Also, it’s a place for spa voices. You know, like my gentle gossamer volume.
The talking part was brief. He told me what to expect as far as when the pins go in. His form had 3 lines for “what brings you in today?” 1. Low back 2. Knee 3. Curiosity
Off the lobby is the community room. Lit for ambiance with soothing music. There were several people reclined who looked cashed out.
He whispered me through the pin part. Checking for if I was comfortable. He told me he keeps a close eye on the room and that I should relax for 25 minutes to an hour. My skeptical-self took note of the clock. I had the feeling that I was going to struggle to chill in a chair for any amount of time. Then in a hushed tone he said, “Enjoy the ride” and spa-walked away. (It’s like real walking only quieter)
I had a pin (or maybe more) in my forehead. That didn’t stop me from wanting to roll my eyes. I thought, “this is going to be lame, and then he’s going to ask how it was, then my desire to be polite will make me have to tell him some fake story about how awesome it was.” Yes. I do over think things.
I looked at the clock and less than 5 minutes passed. Fuck.
I’m not sure where in the next minutes those hair-thin pins took over my consciousness, but it was commandeered fully. It was, in fact, a ride. I don’t know the order events occurred. But I know I felt things. There were (I dunno) power surges (?) that felt like they coursed through my body. I was simultaneously hyper aware of what my body was experiencing and absolutely unaware. I know that doesn’t make sense. None of it did. How can dude put a pin in my foot and all the sudden I’m having deep dreams interspersed with blinding flashing white lights in my brain. It was bizarre. I’d have moments where I knew I was trying to fight this ancient Chinese mysticism, I was convinced I’d still have to tell the guy it didn’t work. Then I’d quickly slip away to some other internal realm.
At one point, a loud snore caught my attention. I can only assume it was mine. My eyes opened. As promised, pin guy instantly saw that I was alert and came immediately over. “How was it?” I only had juice to nod and smile. “You look like you were pretty deep in there for a while.” My inner voice was using not spa volume to gleefully yell “In where?! What the fuck just happened?!” But I knew with my feelings of “whoa!!!!” I’d be completely unable to moderate volume or read cues about if I’m being too much, so I said nothing.
I looked at the clock. I’d been in that chair for nearly an hour.
I gathered my self and put my shoes back on with all the dexterity of a drunkard mincing tomatoes. Me and my half-mast eyes wandered to the car. I probably sat there another 5 minutes before I felt alert enough to operate a motor vehicle.
I was struck by how relaxed to the bone I felt. The feeling of “it’s all good” lasted for days. My back was notably better. My sinuses were something I didn’t even know to complain about and they felt remarkably better. I know this’ll sound weird, but I had a generalized feeling that my system had been flushed of bad stuff. Like them silly pins were like some body-draino, or something.
When I got home, then I did my research on the whole acupuncture stuff. It’s used to treat a myriad of conditions; pain, sleep issues, mood stability, addiction, anxiety headaches, nausea, etc. A list that diverse would make someone think it has to be bunk. But one of the most interesting things about my research is that acupuncture is something that many insurances cover.
I don’t think this guy does the insurance thing, but the fact that companies who don’t give money unless they absolutely have to are willing to pay for this bolstered the legitimacy of the treatment. That and the aforementioned tidbit that it’s been practiced for over 3,000 years.
I promptly booked another session.This this experience was a good one and I’m happy to try it again. Plus….I tried to keep up with those dang 21 year olds again this week and could probably stand some more tune up.
If you’ve done it or if you do it, let me know about the experience.
Thanks for reading!
Bifocals and Barbells 