I had reason to be in the fabric store yesterday. I felt a strong magnetic pull to the end cap display of bright and colorful tulle. I stood and stared. It was a negligible amount of time, but any amount of time to stare at unneeded tulle is too long.
I ran a quick mental check list seeing if there were any events coming up for which I could justify creating some elaborate and quirky decorations. It’s not Halloween. Sweater Vest day has passed. Daniel has made sure he’s states away for another birthday. I walked away tulle-less.
I don’t always experience temporary paralysis when encountering tulle so of course I had to over-think things on my way to the hemming tape. I decided that that it was because there’s a bit of a vacuum in my universe for my “particular set of skills,” and by skills I mean over-doing weird shit.
Dirty is out the house again. He now has an apartment shared with 3 other men in Hayward. Daniel is wrapping up his final semester of bachelor’s degree (!!!!) in Pittsburgh, Kansas. This has resulted in me getting a lot of questions about being an “empty nester.” I think I’m a little more of a Air BNB Nest Host, but there definitely are adjustments happening. Some are good. I get excited to know that the home I return to after a long day at my fake job will be the same home I left. There’s not dishes strewn about etc. I’ve also been reunited with a glorious part of my home I’ve not seen in years…THE LAUNDRY ROOM COUNTER! But aside from that, it’s weird.
So much of kid raising time is a beautiful existence of structured chaos. I liked it a lot. It’s how I’m wired. If an ad were to be written about me as a rescue dog it would say that I need lots of activity and space; all the code words for “this dog’s a bit crazy. Give it something to do or it’ll probably eat your couch.”
Having lived a while, I’m aware that there are patterns in my behavior. I expect that I will end up creating crises for myself to replicate those times of kid-support chaos. Maybe I’ll make my own crab feed where so I can decorate tables again with the hope of winning illustrious (chromosomally challenged) eagle trophies. Or maybe I’ll over-do a pastime on weekends where I just be still. Only time will tell.
Meanwhile, in this interim I’ve got time and energy to help. Let me know if you need raffle baskets made, center-pieces built, sweater vest cookies made, or supplies bought at 8pm for a model of Mars that’s due tomorrow. You can find me at Joann’s staring at the colorful tulle,…just…waiting.
Thanks for reading!
Bifocals and Barbells 