If you read my first bucket list happening, you’ll know that my second bucket list item wasn’t really destined to set the world on fire either. But it was something that was a challenge, and that I thought would be funny, so it had to be.
I am NOT a hugger. I’ve been raised by a hugger, but it didn’t take.
It’s not that I don’t love to hug on my people. My poor boys will do that thing where after I start the hug mob they just freeze and disassociate. It’s their primal defense mechanism. So far, it hasn’t deterred me from my repeated hug assaults.
I can interface with huggers. There’s times when people need the hug. I can and will abide.
I also know that there’s sometimes where being held is the only thing that soothes the soul. Those magnificent embraces that remind you that it’s going to be okay. The ones where you just be still and let it work it’s magic.
Buuuuut,…aside from those instances; not a hugger. I’ll shirk away from contact a kid from a sink of dirty dishes.
My guess is that our former director was also not a hugger. She was able to manage an agency based on feelings in a way where she didn’t let feelings have an impact on her work. By no means was she warm and/or fuzzy. I’m pretty sure she crossed a street one time just to avoid interacting with me.
So obviously, getting a hug from her had to be on my list.
I’m pretty sure I could’ve just gone up and asked for one any day, but where’s the fun in that.
So I waited for just the right time. I plotted and schemed. I shared my goal with others. There was speculation on how it would go; maybe even some assumption that she was a robot. “I bet she’ll have to access her ‘engage hug’ sequence.”
There was a get together one evening to celebrate on our attorneys moving on. When I’d parked at View 202, I saw her honor from my first bucket list item being dropped off. I walked in right behind the judge in hopes that people would think we came together. It would have been more convincing if I’d actually talked to her as I did that.
I didn’t expect my hug target to be there, but she was! I had to rally. It seemed like a good idea to check in with my mentor/supervisor before making a spectacle. I sent her a text asking if I should, but she didn’t respond instantly. I had a “Fuck it, we’ll do it live” moment.
There was a quieter moment in the event. I stood up in front of probably 20 people who I really respect and,….yup,…announced that my bucket list included wanting a hug from Maxine.
She shrugged her consent. I walked towards her. Cameras rolled. I felt certain it would be the uber safe one arm side hug, but it wasn’t! It was the two armed, with a squeeze hug! There was cheering (not kidding…we’re all weird where I work).
The occasion wrapped up with a photo of me with both the judge and the director. As we stood there an smiled, both of them flatly told me “You need to do better on making your bucket list.”
Thanks for reading!
Bifocals and Barbells 