The Only Things You HAVE to Do…

“The only things you HAVE to do are eat and shit,” my dad (date unknown)

If you want to be “that guy” and retort “technically, you also need water…” or whatever, move along. This post isn’t for you. But know that in doing so, you’ll have benefited from the message behind his sage words. The power and freedom of choice.

I don’t know why my dad said what he did. I may have even misheard it since that’s a special skill of mine. Maybe he was going for a #DadJoke before #DadJokes were a thing. I’m also not entirely sure if my dad meant the statement to have the lasting impact that it did, but man! What a paradigm shifter!

“I have to work this specific job so I can pay this specific mortgage.” Sure, it’s totally true. But what’s also true is I COULD chose to not have a mortgage. I COULD chose to not have a home at all. The only things I really HAVE to do are eat and (you know).

When you think about a time you felt trapped in whatever, or you saw someone who felt trapped, you know what that struggle is like. You don’t make your best decisions. You feel chronically beat down. You can’t even imagine a better circumstance or if you can, you may be paralyzed by the fear of making a change. Give yourself the gift of knowing that there’s really only a couple things you HAVE to do.

An example is employment (please don’t misunderstand…I am not at all complaining about my job). Jobs are hard. That’s why we’re paid to do them. And, jobs can absolutely feel like a “have to” circumstance. I don’t have any intention to seek a different job, but it’s important to me to know that I could get one if I wanted. We all could. What this knowledge does for me is reminds me that I’m choosing my circumstance every day. I could choose different circumstances. I’d like to think that I could maybe even go back to waiting tables if I chose. Sure, the service would be a LOT slower as I tried to social work every customer, but maybe I could still do it. I’ll likely never try to flex that muscle, but knowing there are choices is often enough.