Movies

“We’re going to go see Booksmart,” I say to Dan and Chase.

“We were thinking of seeing that too. That or John Wick 3,” he replies.

I take in a big amount of air in preparation for my review.

“Oh that’s right. Crystal didn’t like it,” he tells Chase.

I’m taking a nano second to prepare my defense. “I’ve got high standards for movies.” “Crystal’s really critical of movies,” overlaps my words.

“The first time I learned what the middle finger meant was when she got pissed off at how Pirates of the Caribbean ended. We lived in the Red Bluff house. She got up and flipped off the TV.” I hoped I could come up with some alternate explanation for what he thought he saw, but backed down. It sounds like something I would’ve done.

I’m not sure why I like movies as much as I do. I think it has to do with appreciating that someone’s brain can come up with things that my brain likes. Movies are a universal language for me. It’s not that I can’t trust you if you aren’t a movie buff. I understand that not everyone’s brain works like mine; you know, I can’t remember where I left my keys but I remember almost the entirety of Monty Python’s Holy Grail verbatim. But, I will certainly feel more quickly connected to you if I randomly blurt “Negative Ghost Rider” and you retort with “The pattern is full.”

But about how John Wick 3 sucked,…If you’re thinking maybe I’m not the intended audience, I would disagree. I fiercely enjoy violence in film. For instance, I liked Pulp Fiction so much that as soon as it wrapped up in my living room, I popped the VHS copy of it out and drove directly to my parents’ home and watched it again with them.

I took a creative writing class while at Shasta College (inaudible number) of years ago. One of the most important take-aways  for me is that there really isn’t “good” and “bad” when it comes to creative expression. There’s just stuff that speaks to you and stuff that doesn’t. John Wick 3 did not speak to me.  There was too much patronizing for my taste. Too many comments made with what seemed like the intention that it would become a catchphrase. And don’t even get me started on the whole Halle Berry making it like a buddy movie. I don’t want to watch John Wick and Co. I want the enchantment that was the original John Wick.

The upside was, I was there with my brother Josh who also has expectations and standards for movies. I really wanted the movie to be good. It wasn’t.

Wasn’t almost weirder though is that no one is complaining about it. Why?

Several days later,  I get a phone call. Josh doesn’t call. Crap. This can’t be good. I answer with an alarmed, “What’s up?”

        “Why is nobody talking about how bad that movie was?”

        My heart restarts, “Yea. I don’t fucking know.”

He tells me a parallel that rivals an SAT question; John Wick 3 was to John Wick as Boondock Saints 2 was to Boondock Saints. I completely get it. They should’ve quite while they were ahead. They tired too much of a good thing.

I rest easy in knowledge that there’s other people who get it. And now,….I’ll have to ask him for what his thoughts were on the Pirates of the Caribbean ending (bwah ha!) he b�LJ`+